I’m “normal”; I’m “not normal”- PNES

Let’s start from the beginning…

  1. I am a product of two alcoholic parents (they met in rehab) how sweet…
  2. I have moved more times than any child should have to
  3. I’ve been sexually abused on a number of occasions. (No child should EVER have to go through this)
  4. I have been the victim of incest
  5. I’ve been verbally and psychologically abused for many years
  6. I’ve been in and out of numerous schools and even sometimes not enrolled in school
  7. My report card said that I was “unkept” (That just sucks!)
  8. I used to get into legitimate fights with kids at school in my early elementary years
  9. Both of my parents have been married 3 times each although I think my mom snuck in a 4th or 5th (You can imagine all of my step-brothers and sisters out there)
  10. My one step-sister taught me the art of stealing at age 10…until I got caught
  11. My mom finally lost custody of me when I was 8 after years of my dad trying to get me. Back then, drinking and driving with your kid was a slap on the wrist
  12. I’ve witnessed the strangest things…when I was little, I would talk about certain topics and people would look at me like I was crazy, so I just pushed it somewhere
  13. I grew up with a fear of trusting anything or anyone
  14. I had a hard time making friends so I would just be “the class clown” to disguise all of my pain.  After all, I just wanted to fit in
  15. I explored alcohol and drugs by the time I was 12
  16. I smoked cancer sticks for far too long
  17. I was so afraid of men and sex that I promised myself to be in love when I finally did do the deed (I kept that promise minus one…we all get a pass)
  18. I was dumb as shit, but luckily my dad got me tutoring so that I was not reading on a 2nd grade level in 8th grade
  19. I was anorexic for a while but I love food too much for that.
  20. I went to a mental institution when I was 12. A girl in there convinced me to cheek my medication so that we could kill ourselves (You can imagine how that went down)
  21. I have been on a diet my entire life (My mom was bulimic although she denied puking up her food after a meal…I mean leaving immediately after your meal and then coming back with watery eyes, kind of gives it away)
  22. I was always getting into trouble in school
  23. I’ve cheated on boyfriends
  24. I’ve been in physical altercations with my mom
  25. I got wasted the night before my SAT’s
  26. I wasn’t “College material”
  27. I made some poor choices in men
  28. I spent some crazy nights in college doing some crazy ass shit
  29. My mom committed suicide
  30. And there is plenty more, but you get the point…

Sooo…How did I turn out?

  1. I’ve had a job since I was 14
  2. I bought my first (used) car when I was 16
  3. I made myself “College material”
  4. I found an amazing network of friends
  5. I went to therapy to “TRY” and heal the past
  6. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education
  7. I met an amazing well-educated, smart, handsome and unbelievable man
  8. I got married to a real man
  9. I had an exciting honeymoon in Europe
  10. I had two healthy children
  11. I made my house a home
  12. I’ve been on some of the best vacations
  13. I am an excellent mom…I mean damn good sister!
  14. I am an loving Godmother and Aunt
  15. I received a Master’s degree in Special Education, while being pregnant and working full-time
  16. I have had the most rewarding career for the past fifteen years working with children and families of people with Autism.
  17. I am not afraid of being an outlier
  18. I’m finally through the awkward-ugly stage that seemed to last forever
  19. I am a good friend
  20. I genuinely love having fun
  21. I’m creative
  22. I have a heart of gold
  23. I make responsible decisions
  24. I eat relatively healthy
  25. I exercise regularly…gotta love my fitbit
  26. I love my family
  27. I don’t live paycheck to paycheck
  28. I am healthy
  29. I’ve had people continuously say “how well I turned out”
  30. I’m overall a really optimistic person

So what happened? I have been diagnosed with Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures

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I’ll let you know what happens along the way…

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